mORniNG;.snOw

QuiCkly
whIrlinG
wiNd pOwerEd
snOw*

eXciTeDlY pUt On wiNteR bOOts
mAssiVe snOw rEPeLLenT
mOOn bOOts
*.flUFFy tOqUE*
.*kNITTed miTTs.*

wiGGle dAnce tO the dOOr
(fiRst snOw!*)
tRip On stAirs.*
(must aDjuSt tO nEw wiDth & leNgtH Of fEET iN mOOn bOOts*)

*Open tHE dOOr*

snOwfLAkE iCinG.
:pinCheS:
mY chEEks
mY cHin
mY nOse*
blUSHinG rUBy rEDs*
.chERRy pINkS*.

spARkLINg*
sParKlinG*
eVeRYwHErE*

Dear Neil

it is getting cOld.
nOt frEEzinG,
defiNately, reveRse sPrinG*
lOvinG tHe OranGe scARf*
& micrO fiBre liNed mArkeT miTTens*
wAntinG a new tOque*
tHey dOn't maKe 'em biG & flOppy anymOre.
re.thINKinG
flOppy tOque in favOUr Of kniTTed tOques wiTH knIttED flOwers*
(...mAy.be.nOt...)

.:dreaming Of a fire place,
lOg cabin,
in the mOuntains:.
eatinG Only
buTTer cOOkies
-*i maKe a meAn pAn Of cOOkies*with almONds*-
&
wearinG Only elastic waisted high pants,
with knitted sOck slippers.*

*slEEp.*

currently eating licorice
& thinking.
i don't want to set my alarm.
.ever.

wHILe tHe nEigHBOurs stOMp*

hAMMeR*
tiNy thuMB nAils*
heMP & cOpPeR*
:hAll
.lOw.
dRywALL*

ARtWORk *hiDDEn*
sOftlY
CaNdLE
LiT*.

fRidAy Off*

*.*
IKEA*
treASuRE tROVe Of glAss.wOOd:plAStIC.cERAmic:mEtAL wiTH stRInG & nAils*
i:tHe uRbAn hUNter gAther.er*
sTalKed*
pOUnceD*
pillOw*piLLoW*piLLOw*sHelf.*
*EUphOriA*
& siLVeR miXinG bOWLs*

fAvOUriTes*

tHis mOrninG:
discOvery Of
tHe rAre (neArLy)iNviSiBle sPider*
(thOUght iT wAs sweAter fluFf* thEn iT mOveD*
nO.
thEn iT eXtenDeD One Of eiGht 'hiDDen' leGs.....)

tHis aFteRnOOn:
tHe deNtiSt*

nO heAt*: tUESdAY mONdAy*

lAstnIght*:
*An INcrEDiBLe fEAst*
eiGht sPiritEs &
One iMprEssiVEly lARge*tURKey
swEEt pOe*tAE*TOeS* rOAStEd & bOIled(wiTH grAvY*)
puRpLe caBBaGe & OniOns & gArlIc clOves* (wiTH gRAvy)
sPInAch sAlaD*wiTh rOastEd pEA*cAns*gOAt chEEse*crAnbeRRiEs*
EGyptIAn aRTicHOKeS*(wiTH gRAvY*)
OrANge*brOwn suGAr*cRAnbERRy sAUcE*
aPPle.&*.pumPkiN puDDinG & pieS wiTH iCe creAM*
(i dID* i knOw* iT wAs wORtH iT*)

tOdAy.:
BelgIAn chOcOlAte
wiTH An eVeniNG chEEsEcAke*

fOUnd tHe wOOden lAddeR*
iN a wEE aNtiQue shOp*
pAiNtEd wHiTe wiTh tOUchEs Of dUst & diRt
& weBBinG*
iTs peRfECt*

miTTeNs*
piPieS*
rUg*
& tHe wHiTe TOquE*
i thOUghT i wOUld reTiRe tHIs yEAr*

cuRRentLy
tWO gOod bOOKs
ONe wARm cOat As blAnKEt*
dAncE::tHe aUtUMn lEAves*

PiNK pOWeR rAnGeR & sOuP

sPeLL CaSTiNG & eNcHantinG plAnts
tRyinG nOt tO dRag mY thUmbs
as thAt seems to chAnge the paGe(?)
Or sOmethinG*
(.....wOrK wiTh mE j.R.....)

Up stAirs neiGHboUr thINks they'Re a wEEKEnD jiMMy pAge
cuRReNtly practiSinG fOr bOwlinG nAtiOnAls,
yeAh*
YAY*(!)
the lAte* wEE hOurs*

gOOd fUn*

lOvinG neArLy mIdniGhtisH sOup
& flaShPoint(pinK pOwer ranGer fOund heRe*)

slOth hAs cOnsumed tHe lAst fEw dAys*
tHe piPes stAre At mE,
*UnpAinTEd*
wEnt lADDeR hUNtinG

i reAlly juSt wAnt a nIce wOOden One
fOr decOrative shelvinG lAteR
frOM wHat i'vE sEEn
itS plAstiC
Or
mEtAl*

tRuLy''
qUiTe sAD*.

mAkinG miTTeNs Out Of be.lOve.eD ruSt OranGe sweAter* (Of cOurse* velour)
& thERe wiLL be riBBOns & buTTOns & beADs* (whO 'wAsheS' miTTens(?))
& a fAshiOnAble rUg
sOOn*
sOOn*

riGht AfteR tHis spEll*

bEfOre tHe sHelVes*

wiTH tHe acQUIsion Of JaCKie ROse,
& tHe eXceLLent aDvenTURes Of gOOgle siNce*
Ms.Q & i aRe ventURinG forth intO the aRt Of 'hOme prOjeCTs'*
*rAg RUgS
(frOm faBric thAts bEEn mOveD arOUnd*arOunD*aRoUNd*)
*tHanK*fULL tO the lOves whO pOsteD tHe hOw tO's On yOUtuBe*
&
*PAinTiNG
-:pIpes*
(hAve disCoverEd thAt plAstic mEtAl frAmed chAirs aRe nOt eQuAl tO a lADDeR)
-:drESSers*
(PriMeR + CSI = sOck pAint*)
-:mirrOr*
-:BAsEBOaRDs*
(gOt a Bit cARRiEd AWAy & nOw ...yes.....*)
eVent*fULL?
*Oh* yEs!*
aDvEntUrOus?*
wOrKInG On gEttinG A lAddER*

fAst ActinG kARmA*

i shOUld hAve reMembERed
tHe bAlcOny ruCKuS MAkErs sTArt tHeir wEEk End:*
.WEdnESDay.
tHey diDn't kNOw*
caFFeInAtEd cOffEE cOnsUMEd AT fiVe On suNdAy
dEliGHt*fUll suGaRy*swEEtARts AFtEr sEveN On mONdAy*
tHe TuESdAy eXcitemEnt wiTh tHe aRRivAl Of j.R. bUTlEr* cHarGed (literAlly)
& fUlly lOadEd in glOriOus vElvEt.E bLUe*
tHey dIDn'T knOW*
thAt iN fOUr dAys
Only sIXtEEn
bRilliAnt hOUrs
hAd bEEn dEvOted
tO slEEp
thAt At sIX p.M.
.lAstniGHt.
i sEt mY AlARm* fAce wAShEd.tEEth bRUsHEd.

i shOUld hAve re:mEMbeR.Ed
'wEEk*End bEgiNs'
wAs suPEr cuTE*
lAst wEEk
&
tHree wEEks aGO,
tHe nOise wAs
*cOmfOrtinG*.

tHey hEArD
thrOUgh tHe grOUnd flOOr hAze Of AwOkEn
& winDOw bLInDs
mY 'oUTdOOr vOice'
(tOtAlly tHe trOll.....)*

iT hAd tHe deSiREd eFFeCt*
-*QuiET*-

bUt i was
uP.
uP.
uP.
aLL fiEry & hUngRy*
wiTh rAspbeRRy cRuMbLe& gRApes& tEa
(nO. Of cOurse nOt decAffeINAteD)*
&glEE*
& a dOcUmeNtAry On cAt lAdiEs

yEs.
twEnty iN fiVe*
iT is hOweVer qUitE nEarly
tHe stArt Of mY
wEEk*eNd.*

naKed gRape UnOaKed Little bOOmeY at WiTs eNd*-a pOem

*iN tHe cAveRn:*
AustRAliA
iTAly
OntAriO
.tHe PhOeNiX cAme tO viSit*
On Our thrOneS wE dId sIt
& yaMMeR Our wAy tiLL dAwn
thRee litRes lAter
wE did yAwn
&
wOKe uP tO tHe nOisy gOng
Of
'yOU'Re nO lOngeR twEnty'
Our bOdies' sUng*

Dear Neil

sOrry i hAven't wRittEN sOOner,
you were filMiNG,
i was fiGHting wiTh BiG rEd*
nOw the cAble is in,
tHe sAD thINg
tHEy discOvered tHe aWesOme*neSS Of A&E
(i hAve tO 'orDer' it sepArAtely)
i view tHIs as cRUel*
(wiLL*order aFter fiRst biLL.....*)

its quite nearly been a month*
getting myself into the
'forgotten-putoff-didinotleaveyousomewhereelse'
projects.

i heArt
QUick dRy priMEr.
wOOd fiLLeR*
sTuRDy haMMer
wEE tiNy fiNisHInG nAilS
decOratiVe pLiErs
& olive *seventies esQ bathrOOm* grEEn
(no.its not something i am terribly worried about.....)

bOugHt a duSt pAn*
(it wAs hiDinG iN My miND)*
bAth mAt* in tURquoise

cURReNtly shelF hUntinG*
thEn.
tHe gNOme dOOr*

fOr mE, tHe phOne rinGs*

BiG rEd aRRivEd.
nIne hOurs Of
wAit.
wAit.
wAit.
& a dAy lAteR
tHey hOnKed*
wiTh a sMiLe*

i eVen sMilEd*

tHeRe wAs alOt Of 'sMiLinG'

theN tHere wAs cAble.

&
'On demAnd'
(Oh* sAy iT aGain*)
a Bit muCh Of tOO awe*sOme.*
wiTh a tOuch Of yOu sTiLL hAve tO pAint*

seVen dAys*

phOne.
inTErNet.
cAble.

BiG rEd*
Or
BiG blUe*

nEitHEr veRy
a.helpful.
b.useful.
c.cOmpetent.
&
neither can come until Sunday.

i've opted for BiG rEd,
even thOugh
BiG rEd hAs tO gO thrOugh BiG Blue*
BiG rEd cAlled fiRst witH frEE cAble*
(i am a sucker fOr tHe wOrd "frEE")

thrEE dAy wEEkENd*
me, mYself & Ms.Q*

*nO distrActiOns

thRew my*sElf intO
unpaCKinG.

*eVeRYtHinG*

Ms.Q*,(whOm i shOUld intrOduce;is a cOugAr*jaGuAr*chEEtAh*mOuntAinliOn* trAined in the fOrmAl Arts of niNjA*) wAs veRy helPful* witH cOllectIng biTs of tApe*threAds*BeAds & mucH Of thAt sOrt*

wE went to bed quite late
&
wOke up eARly.
lOts of sEwinG.
&
tHiRtysOmetHinG*

sunday*
sEwinG
&
lOst iN auSteN.
(yEs mS. PRice i aM a wEE bIt jeAlOus Of yOu* iTs tRue. wiCkHam* i miGht aDD i'd tRAde mOst Of the nineties fOr mIntues One HUndred & thiRty One tO oNe hUndRed thiRty fOur* & the lAst pArt Of twO thOusAnd fOr One fiFty eiGht.*)

mOnday.
mOnday**
cAffEiNatEd eMOtiOn*

fEEliNG the laG Of tHree dAys
witH nO OutsiDe cOnnectiOn.*
pAyphOnes at the seVen eleVen*
(AdVEnTUre*!)
disinfEctEd* fiRst*
(yEs. iT wOUld be eXaCtly As yOu sEE iT bEiNG*)
iNtrUdEd by lArGe, vUlgAr dAyLiGht drUnks*
iT wAs a reAl hOOt*
bOught guMMies.
&
mSg dusted dOritos*

atteMpted tHe laundRy mAcHines.
tHReE diScOverieS:
fiRSt*
i cOvet frOnt lOading mAcHInes (*thEse aRe nOt)*
sEcONd*
sPin eQuAls nOt qUite nEarLy sOppinG wEt*(gOod.)
tHiRd*
iNduStriAl sOundinG bAtHrOOm fAn, rOcKs thE dAmp*(excellent.)

iTs bEEn seVen dAys.
One wEEk.
One HuNdREd & siXty eiGht hOurs
tEn thOusAnd & eiGhty miNutES
siX hUndREd & fOur thOusAnd eiGht hUndRed secOnds

wHeRe's tHe dUst pAn?

sOmewHeRe
iN tHe aWe*sOMe dEPths Of mY aPArtmEnt
wEEpinG aT sEEinG cArdbOard i riPPed Off a bOx
unStEadiLy
cONsuMe
flUFFy
dUSTBuNnIes*
plAsteRbiTs
&
suCH*

tHe 'tOO muCH'* eXcitmeNt is havOc On the bLAddER

One jeTTa.
fOur fEEt*
One pAir Of mAdDER brOwn kEEns*
eiGht baNdaiDs
One bOttle Of pinK wiNe (actuAlly quIte gOOd*)
fOllOwed clOse.lee bY One wHite (aH.grEEn grApe bLIss*)
twO seAsOn One ePisOdes Of lAw & OrdeR

One bAthrOOm scruBBed,
One dEEpER thAn eXpeCtEd tuB
nEEdinG (one)an S.t.O.P.P.E.r
(Oh.euchRe...i miSS yOu*)
&
(twO)One sAvaNNaH pRieSteSS whO knOws her wAy witH a cOcking guN*


thErE is:
shelvIng
dArk wOOden hAnGers
twO eMpty bOxes
OranGe wiPIngwAshingcleAningthiNgs clOths.
sOft sPOnges wiTH the rOUgh "gEt thAt gOOd" scruBBies
grEEn wEE nOOdle fRieNdly cleAning sprAys & gEls*

One fRidge
with grEEn grApes
&
chEEse
&
breAd
&
miLK

eiGht neArly cOMpletely wiPed cUPbOards* witH toMatoes & nOOdles & cracKers & crUNcHy oAts (heArt cRUnchY OAtS)*

hOney & yOgurt*

One leFt beHInd in spOtleSS cONditiOn siLver micrOwave.
mulTipLe UnMAtcHIng rAndOm 'this used to be an office' plaStics & muGs* (nOw On theIr wAy tO sOmeOne elSE's cuPbOard)*

a dismAntled lOck & dOOr hAndle witH kEy.
One fuNctiOninG dOOr haNdle with lOck & kEy
fOur digit buZZ cOde eNtry*

flOOr witH pLastEr biTs & dust with a tOUch Of nOt asKIng, dOn't tEll*
deliciOUs .uNpacK mE. bOxes
&
just wAshed beDDing*

One leFt cOrner wiNdOw with prOtective bAsemEnt aPaRTmeNt bArs thAt dOuble As a drYinG rAcK*

twO despArAte tO be sAndEd & re-Painted bEd siDe tAbles
One brOOm
tHree cOffee muGs*
fiVe sPOt*liGhts.liGhtinG.

i
AM
mOved in*

*bleSSedSiGHOfswEEtcOnteNtmeNt*

wHAt tHIs nEEds is mOre cOw bELL*

the veRy lAst dAy of eiGht wEEks Of suMMer cAmps....

miGht just dRinK On the jOb in cElEbrAtiOn*

& whAt is eVen beTTer?
(yOU aRe thinKinG 'hOw cOuld tHis get aNy beTTer?...)

i mOve in fOUr dAys.
yes.
fOur.
dAys.

thEn thE aWE*sOme*neSS Of bOraX.sCRUBBies & A bucKet wiLL cONsuMe me....

bAd cArds*

not terribly impressed with the cards today.
they started out bright & shine.e.,
(oh look at that Queen, nice Ace* hEy* A KinG....)
then took a wild mean turn for the dark.ness...
( oh.*! sAtan & the hanGed man....perfect*....)

i am already adverse to inverted cards even though i am told i should embrace all aspects of a reading.

no.

i just want the fluffy happy.
is that too much?

cOnversAtiOns*

There was dancing, & I was in the spark*lee dress.
I am just going to say it.
Kiera Knightly, I would like her to play me in a movie.

Is Margret Mitchell still alive?

***

Do you even have to ask?

The stage is set for success.
That is what it says.
The rune or card or what have you.
Set.

Dear Neil

eiGht dAys Neil,

beLLy dAncinG
Out of tuNe shOwer siNginG
eAttinG nOOdleS
&
yOguRthOney miDniGht sNaCKinG*

eiGht dAys Neil,

lOud tiNNy AlArm clOck cD plAyeR*
One persOn bAthrOOm wiTh nEw OrAnGe tOwEl*
sOft strEEt lAmp liGht
&
giFtEd dOuble bEd futOn*

eiGht dAys Neil,
eiGht dAys*!!!!!

i miGht bE eXcitEd,
...
juSt A wEE Bit*

hARveSt gOld*

lemOnaDe wiTh iCe cHats beSiDe
A (liGHt mOrtAr) tuRtle*
frOnt dOOr crEEk wiTh sKiPPinG bUgs
&(bAss)trOut*

*drAgOnFLiES*
BlaCK FLiES*
hAppy BlAcK lAB sNuFFs
&
bElly ruBBed gRey KiTTEn puRRs*
tOe.maY.tOes*
mArBle cHEEsE*
brOccOli sTEAmED
pOe.tAY.tOes
cOrn On tHe cOB
bbQ

cUcUmBerS & teA*
WaRM flAnnEl
sOft piLLOws*
reStinG cAt*

witH cricKet luLLabYes*

wHen i wAs eiGht.....*

heRe!* heRe*!
to Rainbow Theaters!! & three dollar matinees!!!*
saw quite the terrifying yet delightfully predicable yet i still jumped out of my seat & gripped the arm rest horror flick yesterday afternoon.

of course, i was all joke.joke. about my over active imagination
i get myself all hyped up to be staring at the ceiling for the night
in laughable fear

i watched some t.v.
had some juice.
yawned.
it was dark.
i got my jams on & climbed into bed*
in the cool, gloriously cool, basement
&
i heard the tinKtinK of my fingers On the switch turning Off the liGht...
oh.blessed sleep.....

fliCk (fAint glOw)
fliCK (fAint glOw sPuTTer)
fliCk (bRiGhteR glOw)
fliCk (bRiGhteR glOw litte tiN.e. sOund)

yep.
four times....

four.

times.

i fOrsee slEEpinG On the flOor uPstairs besiDe the dOg the reSt Of the wEEk*

Dear Neil

its Saturday
&
i am not bathing Neil.

i am going to sit in front of the t.v. Neil,
drink cOffee
maybe make some lunch.
its optional.
take another nap

or fall asleep while reading, on the couch with the t.v. on.
oh*
yes*
brilliant.

might brush my teeth, though...
just as a courtesy....

tO* dAy.

theRe will be cAke*
& wHite wiNe*
sinGinG ( eXcellent*)
& stOmach achiNG lauGhteR.
yEs.
it wiLL be tHis gOOd*

SteLLa hAs nEw shOes

One leAse*
fiVe pOst dAtes*
bRanD nEw unUseD cheQues, pacKed in yEt tO be discOvered bOx*
jAne AustEN suMMer hOme*
sePtemBer fiRst*
pinK bicYcle & nEw ruNNers*

& then...

Neil,
'they' called!
with four minutes left on the clock.
so. close Neil,
i was a bit jumpy.

it hasn't really settled in yet,
& i have to find my cheques. (i know i should have labeled the boxes.)

feeling the Oh.mY * dAnce*e eXcitement*
& the bottoming out of free falling...
its really quite trilling*
even for a cat.

wAitinG jUst iSn't *

neil,
they haven't called yet.
i don't have the stomach for this kind of thing.
especially when i feel quite nearly strangled by the anticipation,...maybe that's the fear...
(does it matter?)
& as i compose this letter to you, i am staring at the phone.
wishingwishingwhispers*
that the elusive 'they' will call,
&
i will be pink bike shopping*

piNK biCycLE

for trekking around(... to you)*
em says its all the rage*
tomorrow i will hear the news.
if i got the apartment.

the apartment on charlotte.
!!!!!
my own room with a view.
!!!!!
its terrible.
how terribly eXcited
& fit.fully sad i am.
eXcited
sAd
eXcited
sAd
mOstly*
i am thinking.
what do i want?
what do i need?
& can i fulfill these needs?
its interesting how manic the mind is, & it always comes around*
reason & emotion
head & heart*
& a pinK bicYcle.
maybe OliVe grEEn,
Or muDDy brOwn*
Or pinK.
pinK with streAmers & bElls.

Dear Neil

today was my 31st birthday, Neil.
today, i was going to shake your hand & you where going to desperately want to work with me.
its true.
or at least. it would've been.
instead Neil,
i met fairies
& fireflies
&ballerinas
&ninjas
& knights
i walked candle lit paths
i watched actors on stilts (stilts!) tell a tale about a girl who ate the night.


i ate Thai, Neil,
i didn't think I'd like it but i really did...

i turned thirty one Neil, thirty one.
maybe next year, Neil. will be 'our' year.
i say that so full of hope Neil, its really quite sad.
but maybe.
you never know.
oh?
& Neil, ...?
thanks.

the appointment is today at 5:30p.m.*
nervous* butterflies & giddy excitement
this will be my very first.
ever.
bachelor apartment.
(little dance*)

nEiL gAimAn & Other distRActiOns*

its terrible & devastating.
& it is,
the RiGHT thiNG.

still...it hurts like that 90 mph straight down the hill bike plow into the neighbor's hedge you did the summer before grade six.

& you know you'll come around to really enjoying your "you" time* ( you'll start off fake smiling about it, which will cause you to cry because your cheeks will puff up against your eyes & that will get you to think about that time they made you laugh so hard that your cheeks did.this.very.same thing-!!!!!*)

you'll day dream about all those adventures you've been promising yourself for years & never do because you have this delightful pattern of moving around the city for love, in search of, because of....whatever.
you're done now. you're going to scare yourself into YOUR adventure.
its time.
your ready.
look.
you even have a blog.
( & its terrifying) *

you've got some BiG dReAMiNG tO put intO aCTiON*

but right now...

you're going to cry, silently in the bathroom at work & loudly into your pillow on the couch bed that used to be "Our" couch bed, but is now Your bed & you will holler & wail & do that hissing between the teeth heart break sobbing that really gets your self pity juices up. because you need to get it out. so you can get on with it.

& then.
then you can meet Neil Gaiman*